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inside & out.

ultimately, everything and everyone you encounter in your lifespan will in some way let you down, just like, try as you might, you will eventually let everyone/thing you meet in your life down as well. however, i have some reassurment for you kiddos! there IS someone you can possibly never let down. who? sarrawr, tell me who!? well, my dear comarade, that person is yourself. cheesy as this might sound, the road to perpetual bliss starts with numero uno, that is, yourself. people and places, smiles, frowns, no faces; they don’t matter. as long as you can achieve that, if you will, inner peace, then the rest will come naturally. allow me to reprimand what society tends to tell us; that our relationships with the people around us will climactically effect our peace of mind, our happiness. NO NO NO, this is bullshit, don’t ever listen to that! be at peace with who you are, be satisified with what it is you are doing, the choices you are making, and you will be just the most chipper person ...
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straight not giving'a

so close your eyes & let your heart listen. LISTEN PEOPLE, and listen real well. there's a reason God gave us all minds, a very good reason indeed, and that is to USE IT. too many times have i seen people do & say things for none other than to satisfy a peer, or a loved one. believe me, i am no one to be casting stones, i do believe in the fact that no one can truly be ORIGINAL, it's clear that somewhere along the way you were influenced by someone or something, that maybe led you to make the choices you have made. HOWEVER -- i do NOT think it's okay to make decisions in order to please people, to claim a moral because you think it will make you "cool", or because it's something your friends, peers, or family say is right. i believe in standing up for what you believe to be right, no matter how ridiculous or naive it may be perceived by anyone else. you are your own person. stake your moral claims because it is truly what your heart's passion is to...
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alleviation.

I AM THE FUCKING HAPPIEST I HAVE BEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE. yes, this might seem a tad bit exaggerated, but nonetheless, it is the truth and i am inexpicably grateful that it is. i have abdicated myself from certain people who were, honestly, just bringing me down. obviously, there was one key individual who i am no longer associated with, which has made me, by far, the happiest. her persona, her utter existance in my introspect was just ruining my soul, my essence of being. like, you know, satan? okay okay, so i shouldn't view a human in this way, but like my dad always says "es lo que es, mija." and you know what? damn straight. some words of wisdom to you people out there who are involved in an emotionally destructive friendship or relationship: GET OUT OF IT. the truth itself SHALL set you free. do NOT drown in your insecurities, in fact, allow them to LIBERATE you. speak for yourself, because believe me, no one else will say anything close to what the real YOU feels. i h...
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enigma.

as much as i have, and will always, try to understand the way people work, the way they decide to function, the off the wall type of decisions they seem to make, i don't think i ever quite will. seemingly, the world is an easy concept to understand, in general, it's just a planet with a few billion people. but to analyze the everyday lives of these specimens, to delve into the ulterior motives of these individuals, to find out what exactly it is that makes them tick, so to speak, is an altogether different story. once you pay attention to the small, somewhat meaningless ways of human interaction, you will come to realize that it is really an enigma, nothing or no one will ever be able to explain EXACTLY why people make crazy decisions like they do. this is because no one will ever really understand the human "passion" -if you will. every single person has a different passion within them, and today i will try to enlighten on a few key areas. jealousy is death. it is e...
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reconnecting

first things first, i haven't blogged in a cool while and that is just UNacceptable; therefore, i apologize. sorry blogger, sorry. today's let's take a deep look into this continuous hate affair, if you will, i seem to be hooked on. that would be, yet again, the interior motives of the people around me. i swear to you it fucking amazes the shit outta me to just take a step back for a second and say "what the fuck is up with THIS shit?" and, thus, the analysis begins. senior year of highschool rolls around and it's like the fucking real world is turning it's ugly face in my direction. but need not worry blogger! i have this theory, about people, about myself, about motives. honestly, i've said this once and i'll say it again. the ONLY WAY to get yourself in to the top in this world is to knock someone out of that precious precious spot. and that's gonna be me. i'm done being a pushover, i'm done being nice, this time, it's all about ...
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freedom

yes yes you were always that person whom i could never really "let go" that person i could never really "hate" but hey, no offense i don't recall ME ever being that person to you so nonetheless, today is day one of my OVERness of this less than stress more of a mess type deal. most of this time i've been a fool i'll admit i wouldn't quit i'd always try to blame this controversy primarily on myself but allow me to reprimand my demand for your constant approval, i don't need it anymore, i don't want it anymore. it's personally fortunate for me at this moment to be unfortunate in "letting go" because this is somewhat like those photobooth pictures, two fits perfectly but three's sort of a CROWD lemme just put it that way. never in my life have i been so fucking naive i don't really know what i was thinking all along, thinking it would work out, analyzing every motive of you with an attempt of finding some vague connota...
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more.

more thought put into thought than actually thinking. despite my despise of my internal affection of you. my unsatiable desire of your every touch & sense. finding myself finding songs, poems, books, anything that reminds me of that thing more than a fling but less than three. viewing my introspective writing flowing just a tad bit more stylistic my vocab romancing with the enhancing of my ever baffling love affair. seeing things that were once unviewable, how do you do it? my words are fluid once frozen now coming dime a dozen; i don't recall the fall but woke up with a nasty concussion.
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